education
Guest Post From Aysha, a student in a Kabuli high school
Sunday, January 12th, 2014
Aysha contacted me asking if I would edit her story about how she helped her classmates with some of psychological issues.
Aysha is an example of the younger generation in Afghanistan who are eager to improve themselves and rebuild their country. Aysha’s story is interesting because she shares her thought process as her seven-day project unfolds. Please leave comments for her below.
And now, I introduce Aysha…
Salaam Alikom means peace be with you.
We Muslims say this so that the person we are talking should know that he/she is safe with us and we mean no harm for them..
My name is Aysha Mirbacha and I study in Al-Fatha High School class 11. I live in Kabul, the capital of Afghanistan. My first day in Al-Fatha high school was in the year 2008. I didn’t have any friends, but at that time I did not lose myself mentally. I would just go to study and come back home. As time passed I found many friends, and they would talk with me and meet me, but one day I recognized that they never said that I was happy. In fact, they said it seems like I feel pain and am unhappy.
I thought: please kill me, my life means nothing. I started thinking why, that’s not normal. They helped by talking and sharing feelings. I start to think positively, but I knew that was not going to help. They should start thinking positively too.
MY SEVEN DAYS
Ever since I was younger, I learned and heard one thing: Be like a girl, don’t go out, don’t talk to strangers, you don’t need friends.
But then I said to myself “there is a better world, and if I know that then others should also”. I was thinking of what to do, how to help, and then I learned about depression on online websites and gathered answers to all my questions. In school, I talked to my teachers and one of my classmates. I started researching, and I wanted to show them that what are they doing and thinking is making their problems worse.
I had 7 days only because our exams were in 25 days.
Day 1_
I was thinking that I can’t do this alone. I need help.
One of my classmates, Shayesta, came and asked me, “Aysha what is the problem? Can I help you with it?” I invited her to join me, and she said “yes I would love to”. She made me very happy. Shayesta said, “keep on with your research and I will see what I can do.”
Day2_
I said to Shayesta: “This is too much pressure on me in 7 days. I can’t do this.”
She said to me: “Aysha, stress doesn’t solve anything.” I had my computer and Shayesta told me we can do this. I will find answers for the stress problems from the side of Islam because we all are Monotheists and we believe in one God. I will search using that strength and you should search from science to see what science can prove.
I told Shayeata that she solved all my problems once we both were alone.
No one was there to help us but we didn’t lose hope. We worked together and talked to our teachers and classmates – people I knew or even those I didn’t.
I was worried and I said to Shayesta: “what if the principal doesn’t accept our project?”
She said, “Aysha we aren’t doing anything bad, we are helping. They won’t say ‘no’ to us. They will give us a chance, don’t worry at all.”
Day3_
We were working on our research and thinking how to sort it better. I was in my computer lab since bringing computers to school is not allowed by my teacher.
She asked me: “what’s in your hand Aysha?” I said it was a computer and that we are working on a project about Afghan girls’ stress. I suddenly said that students have family and environment problems which prevent them from studying.
The teacher said that it sounded like a very good project. The teacher asked how she can help, and we were a little shocked!
She then said that we should give a conference about it and she would find a projector for us to use.
Sayesta and I were amazed.
Day4_
We had 3 days only. Time was passing so fast, and I found out how precious time is. We were working and praying that Allah may help us. But we faced a huge problem to meet the deadline.
Shayesta told me she wished we hadn’t done this at all and she didn’t think we can do it. I said yes we can. If you and I started this, we will finish it. I wasn’t sure about it and tears came out. I wiped them fast so she would not understand my doubts.
We decided to make question sheets so by writing we can see our problems. We decided that this Friday we would stay home and make our questions and then print them. Shayesta said to forget about it, we are not even ready for our conference. I told her to leave this responsibility to me.
Day5_
I was at home with my family helping my mom and sisters and brother with daily work, and during the evening I had time to work on my question sheets. I completed my writing and I practiced for my conference. Everything was going well until morning sunrise when I went to school. I was so tired. When I met with Shayesta she told me she wasn’t coming tomorrow since she had to work at home. I couldn’t do or say anything because it’s her family, and she may have personal problems.
I told her to be here on Monday for sure, but today we will practice. We went to the principal’s office we told her everything about our project. She was very happy. The principal also gave me a movie. She told me I should watch this and that I will find many answer since the movie was about the secret of happiness.
Then, we used our school printer for copies of the question sheets, but we weren’t allowed to print all we needed. We asked permission for the conference in school and it was granted so we were very happy. I felt like I was flying. We both were running and went to class when one of our teachers called and said she wanted to help us with this work. She led us to our school library to make 100 copies of the sheets, and believe it or not, I have been studying for four years and it was my first time in the school library.
She copied the question sheets for us, and Shayesta told me that our problems are getting solved.
Day-6
Tomorrow was the big day for me and Shayesta, and we were definitely ready.
Everyone wished us the best of luck including my teachers and classmates. We took the hall key and went to assemble the chairs, fans and I checked the mic. It was working well but the projector was not working. We tried our best but it still didn’t work. Some of my classmates came and we checked all the wires, but they were all broken. I asked for help to re-join them and then the projector worked. It was unbelievable!
When everything was ready for tomorrow, Shayesta told me best of luck tomorrow is our day.
I just smiled and walk away to class.
Day-7
Finally, it was the day we had been waiting for.
We both went to the principal’s office for the key, but the principal suddenly said that we were not allowed to go in the hall and give our conference! We were both shocked I asked why she didn’t tell us before.
We had worked hard on this project. This is not fair! Shayesta and I both were about to cry. We thought everything was done. When I turned my head, I saw my teachers and I ran to them but when they talked to the principal she didn’t change her mind. Shayesta said we are wasting time.
Walking in the stairs, I saw my teacher that had helped in the library and I rushed to her and told her everything. She went to the office and gave us the key. All my classmates came to help me and Shaesta went to call the students from other classes. Some went to ask teachers to come. So the conference got started.
At the start the announcer started her talk about our title and why are we giving this conference. Students and teachers liked the title and they said it was helpful. After the announcer and Shayesta finished, I started my speech. I was a little shy and scared because it was in front of hundreds of students and teachers. I start to wipe my sweat.
But at the end, everyone stood up and clapped for us. The feeling was perfect. After that many students came and asked me for help. When I finished Shayesta and I were surrounded by many students. I didn’t understand what they were doing and Sonam, the announcer, said they want help from me. My classmates came and asked questions one by one.
They said they felt like they were born again with a new life, happiness, love and everything beautiful in this world.
After 3 days, we were still working to help students who wanted to talk to the principal. The office called us to say we would be rewarded with a certificate. Shaysta, Sonam and I were very happy. I was proud to be me. I felt good and peaceful to help others girls around my school environment and I am looking forward to helping them more
Posted in Afghanistan, Aisha, education, Other, women, writers | 1 Comment »
Suraia Perlika
Thursday, March 3rd, 2011
You will be able to read about the further exploits of Tajwar in my book which is scheduled to be out in January of 2012. Her life story is the story of the “freedom fighters” as she called them.
I’m now working on Suraia Perlika’s life story which tells of another woman also working for women’s rights and education, but from the Comunist side. She was one of the founders of the Democratic Women’s Organization which was supported by the Communists and also used as propaganda by them to show how much they’ve improved the lives of Afghan women. Ultimately, they imprisoned Suraia and put her on the “death list” but at the last minute she was pardoned by a rival Communist faction who had just come to power. She revived the Democratic Women’s Organiation as the Afghan Womens’ Union and gave herself the made-up name, Suraia Perlika.
Posted in Afghan Women's Project, AWP 2010, education, Other, Peggy Kelsey, political, Suraia Perlika, women | Comments Off on Suraia Perlika
Tajwar Kakar Part 1, Birth Story plus 2011 Update
Sunday, January 9th, 2011
I’ll begin 2011 with the amazing birth story of Tajwar Kakar, a woman I met on my trip in 2003 and again this past spring. I’d love to see her life portrayed on the big screen.
Tajwar Part 1 Birth Story
Tajwar holding a picture of her father (far left)
In 1948, Tajwar’s soon-to-be father was commissioner of the border between the Soviet Union and Afghanistan. The Russians* had gotten control of the Amu Darya River, also known as the Oxus, which runs along the northern side of Afghanistan, and were trying to make the border on the Afghan side of the river. “My father didn’t let them,” Tajwar told me. Six times before, Afghans had tried to negotiate a mid-river border, but had failed. “My father was brought from his post in Farah Province to meet with King Zahir Shah and head up the delegation. Before he left, my grandmother told him that my mother was pregnant. He told my mother that it doesn’t matter whether this child is a girl or a boy, but ‘if I get the river from Russia then it will be a lucky child for me. If I lose this river and Russia makes the border inside Afghanistan, this will be an unlucky child and I never want to see its face.'”
“So every time my grandmother prayed she would say ‘Allah, please help that man. This is an innocent child. When he says he will do this he will because he‘s a very strong Pashtun.’ My grandmother prayed every day that my father would get the river back. On the same day I was born he won back the river.”
“When he got the river he called to his people and told them to bring my child to the border. My grandmother said that I was too young but some people came and made a basket from branches and some very nice cloth. I was put inside and they took off for the border. More than 5000 people followed. When I arrived, my father put me in the boat and we went out into the river where he gave me the name Tajwar which means crown.”
“When he got back to Kabul, my father warned the king about Russia’s intention to invade Afghanistan and of his cousin, Daoud’s intention to help bring it about. Mr. Kakar was ignored, but his sympathies became known within the palace.”
“We moved to Kunduz when I was nine. Two years later, my father was poisoned by Daoud’s people because he was a powerful man and he didn’t support the Russians.”
*Tajwar always referred to the Soviets as Russians, but there were many Soviet troops from Kazakhstan as well as the other satellite states in addition to the Russians.
UPDATE
It’s been months since I’ve updated my blog. But with a new year comes a new determination to be more present in this space. 2010 brought my second Afghan Women’s Project trip to Afghanistan and its subsequent six months of interview transcription and image processing. Finally, my new presentation, Afghanistan 2010, a View from the Ground was crafted and debuted.
2011 will be the year of writing my book on the subject as well as giving presentations throughout the country. In addition to commentary on issues, I will be posting here in this blog elements from the book plus reviews of books pertaining to Afghanistan that I’ve read. And I resolve to post more regularly.
Posted in Afghan Women's Project, AWP 2010, education, Other, Peggy Kelsey, Tajwar Kakar, Uncategorized, women | Comments Off on Tajwar Kakar Part 1, Birth Story plus 2011 Update
Commentary on the Aisha NY Times Article
Sunday, August 8th, 2010
Often glossed over in the story of Aisha, the beautiful 18-year-old woman who was disfigured as retribution for running away from her inhuman marriage, was that although it was a Taliban commander who ordered her horrific punishment, it was her husband (also a Taliban commander) who held her down.
This sort of human rights abuse has been going on since pre-history in the form of “blood debt”, a sacrificial attempt at holding the fabric of society together. To redress an offense, the family of the perpetrator gives a child in marriage to the wronged family. In Aisha’s case, she was married off to atone for her uncle having killed of one of her husband’s relatives. These unfortunate women are generally treated as slaves and subject to all kinds of abuse from their husbands, mothers-in-law and other family members.
The perpetrators of this crime against human rights were Taliban, but it didn’t happen because they were Taliban. As with honor killings, the custom of murdering women for destroying the perceived honor of their family, whether proven or only suspected, the blood debt is a means of restoring honor to the family and stability to the society at large. The father and/or brothers who carry it out are following the age-old customs of their culture. Even completely eradicating the Taliban wouldn’t put an end to the brutality of these practices.
Rather, the way to improve human rights in the long run is through rural education in areas such as the village Aisha came from. It’s great that a large number of foreign NGOs are currently working in Afghanistan, some even in remote provinces, to promote education and build schools. As crucial as it is to educate girls, transforming society through human rights education is also important for boys who will grow up to be the ones in control.
However, the best, most sustainable way for this to happen is via Afghan NGOs. Not only are they mostly more cost effective, but they are more likely to be accepted by local people and to weather the changes coming forth in the next few years. We can participate in this by supporting such organizations as The Afghan Institute of Learning (AIL), an NGO founded by Sakina Yacoobi steming from her work in the Afghan refugee camps in Pakistan. AIL’s curriculum, based on the Koran, teaches about women’s and human rights in addition to academics. They spread their work exponentially by training teachers in modern teaching methods and by focusing on opening schools in the rural areas where they are invited. (They have more requests than they can handle and more contributions can help them reach farther.) You can contribute to their work via their American partner, Creating Hope International.
Posted in Afghan Women's Project, Aisha, AWP 2010, education, political, Taliban, women | Comments Off on Commentary on the Aisha NY Times Article
The Peace Jirga
Friday, April 23rd, 2010
The London Conference, which took place in January of this year to chart a new course for the future of Afghanistan, established a Council Circle (jirga) about Peace, scheduled to take place in early May. (It’s since been postponed to the end of the month.) Fifteen hundred of Afghanistan’s tribal elders and other community leaders are to be brought together (paid for by the UN) to create a formula upon which peace can be built. In order to establish meaningful peace, all parties would need to be involved, including militants of different varieties.
The reaction of the Afghan Women’s Network was to host an Afghan Women’s Forum on April 3rd where influential women from all over the country came together to discuss the participation of women in the Peace Jirga. There were lots of nice speeches but in the Q&A afterwards, when asked how women should be included, one male panel member suggested that women select one representative to be present at the Peace Jirga to let the participants know what women think. This, of course was shot down by the audience, and in the end, he agreed that 30% of the attendees to the jirga should be women. What else could he say? He was only a representative for the minister who hadn’t attended. If he truly supports significant female involvement, he will have to push for it. Otherwise, he could let it sit on the back burner and nothing would come of it while he could still claim to be “supportive”. The position of the Forum was that women should also be substantially involved in each of the “clusters” (of ministries) which would lay the groundwork for the jirga.
Vic Getz,(1) who has been involved in Afghanistan for five years and living here for three has this to say about the Peace Jirga:
“If these media photo ops are happening at taxpayer (I mean around the world) expense, then we must create mechanisms to invest in parallel conferences that provide alternative points of view. …to be constrained by the powers that invest (??) in Afghanistan is unacceptable. Fund the Parallel Peace Jirga….start it now. Where is the money for these kinds of initiatives? Where is the support? – Because I KNOW, that the people, ideas, intelligence, understanding (far more nuanced than you could ever believe), networks and energy are here. Now. Today.
If I had the money, I would fund it myself – just to show the world the Afghanistan that I know exists here. Now that’s a photo op I could believe in.”
I’ve been asking my interviewees their opinion of “negotiating with the Taliban”. The responses seem to be divided into two classes. The “normal people” (both those who left and those who suffered under the Taliban) have mostly said that you can’t trust them, that they are all against education for girls and that if they are allowed into the government, the situation will return to what it was before. The women who are members of Parliament or leaders of some women’s groups say that if Talib individuals are to become part of the government, then they must abide by the rules of the constitution in which women’s rights are clearly stipulated. And so they think that it’s not a bad idea and that it might have a chance of bringing peace.
One mistake that I see in this discussion is the assumption that all Talibs are the same and that they are unchangeable. Even under their previous rule, there were different strains of them under different leaders. Some were more ideologically motivated, others were members because they needed the pay, others because they were supported by Pakistan. Now there is also talk of them having changed their tune a bit. Mullah Omar released a statement last fall saying that “the Taliban do not oppose women’s rights and favor education for all”.
Tajwar Kakar told me this story when I interviewed her in 2003 talking about the time when she was headmistress of a school for boys in 2000 under the Taliban.
“The next day the religious police came to my office and I asked them what they want. They said that they heard that I have one room where you put pictures. I opened the door and showed them the two walls of pictures, one group of pictures of the city before the war and the other of the destroyed city. Look, I said, who destroyed our country? Who made you poor? Who made you uneducated? Before the war, you had a good life and there were nice buildings. Now it is not your responsibility to take your stick and punish the woman. Now you should build up your country. I put these pictures to put in their minds who destroyed their country and what it is their responsibility to do.… What are you doing now? Have you come to punish me? He said ‘you did nothing wrong’. How old are you ? ‘We’re 18, 19 and 20.’ How will you rebuild Afghanistan? With this stick you have? Islam doesn’t teach you to punish the women. Then one asked: ‘Is it possible for us to come every day for a half hour and you will teach us?’ They had come to punish me. But that was my work.”
Hanifa Safia, the women’s-affairs representative for the province of Laghman, says that she thinks “a settlement is the only way to peace. The Taliban fighters who throw acid on schoolgirls’ faces or threaten professional women do so just to antagonize the government. I have talked to so many Taliban. They are not against women,” Safia said. “Once they have been given positions in government, they will definitely change.” (2)
On the other hand, Hekmatyar’s organization, Hezb-e-Islami, the second largest insurgent group, is calling for the replacement of the current Afghan parliament with an interim government which would, after new elections, rewrite the constitution. Scary.
As far as women being forced to stay home and being denied education and human rights, the biggest factor is the families. Now, at a time when the government gives women all of these things, many fathers, husbands, brothers and even sons deny them to their women. It is important to have the legal rights and educational opportunities, but the real work of social change must happen on an individual level and must be seen from a generational perspective.
One powerful force (especially in Afghanistan) in this endeavor is Islam. The rights for all of these are given in the Koran. Already much progress is being made through education, basing the good treatment, respect, education and involvement of women in society on Islamic scriptures.
1 Vic Getz,PhD, is an Environmental Sociologist/Gender and Development Specialist and founder of the Afghan Gender Cafe (UPGRADE coming soon)
To join the AWRL (Afghan Women’s Rights List) network, email Vic at vgetz@moscow.com
2 By Karin Brulliard The Washington Post
Posted in Afghan Women's Project, AWP 2010, education, Other, political | 1 Comment »
Afghan Women Writers
Friday, April 16th, 2010
The Afghan Women’s Writing Project offers a way to support Afghan women emerging writers in a delightful, eye-opening and very meaningful way.
Novelist Masha Hamilton began this project to give voice to Afghan women. The deteriorating opportunities for women from her first visit in 2004 until her return in 2008, inspired her to create a project where women could share their thoughts from the safety of their own homes, unfiltered by family members or the media.
Women who join the project are mentored, via back and forth emails, as they polish the writing of their experiences. Many of them participate in secret. Their mentors, female authors and teachers, volunteer on a rotating basis. Writing workshops are taught in online classrooms.
I have met and interviewed several women in this project and will be sharing some of their life stories in my presentations upon my return. Some of the most promising of these writers have told me that they came to believe in their writing abilities due to the supportive comments left by readers on the pages of the website. These poems, short stories and essays provide a window into the lives of Afghan women that we would not have otherwise.
For example, one woman writes:
Let the world know
I am a poem.
My soul is crazy.
no matter what happens next,
no matter if no one reads the verse of my mad thoughts,
no matter if dust covers my poetry papers,
I am a poem.
I write about the waves of my soul’s water.
My poem tastes like a glass of black tea
when you are tired.
It is the spice of my lunch every day.
My poem sounds like the sky singing in summer,
like rain in the spring.
My poem sounds like
parrots talking, sparrows chatting
in a lonely tree in the valley.
I bloom, bloom, bloom.
When I write about mirrors
pain, life, tea, sparrows, eyes,
I write, write, write.
No matter that, in her hands, Nature
has a hammer, leveled
at my head, poised to kill my poem.
I don’t give up.
I am a poem.
By Roya
And another:
While the schools Burn
“I am burning,”
says the school.
“Who will save me?”
cries the school.
“Where are my students,
the teachers, our friends?”
“Why do the Taliban burn me?”
They are not literate.
Students fear.
Teachers receive threats,
get kidnapped, beheaded.
Friends, families fear.
Unread books are sad.
They too, burned
by guns that write with fire.
Knowledge, understanding
grieve.
Is there anyone
any organization
any country
any international society
who will help us overcome our loss,
this war,
our Afghanistan?
We wait, hope, want.
Please, help us
invite the return of knowledge.
By Freshta
Below is an excerpt from an essay written by a woman returning to her home in Mazar Sharif:
Who Will Stop The Crimes?
…After leaving Fatema’s house, I saw a small girl trying to clean a car. People on the street were laughing at her. I thought: Why is she on the street? Why isn’t she studying instead? How can I take them out of the darkness? I know I alone can’t do anything, but we as a people must start anew. We should never let any girl be a victim of her family. We must give women the courage to let their voices be loud and to know their value. We must not ignore women when they talk about their rights.
Who will stop these crimes against women? Who will hear our voices? Who will hold our hands and take us out of the darkness? Who can hear the meaning of our tears? Who will bring peace to those who are begging on the streets?
For all the questions, I have one answer—unity. Our country is one of the poorest in the world because women live like slaves and do not participate in society. We as a people have forgotten to value each other as human beings. We are all equal. It is our combined hands that can destroy or build our country. If we do not try, nobody will help us.
By Shogofa
And another excerpt from
The Blaming Game
…Now my heart wants to shout directly into the ears of my people: “For Allah’s sake, stop blaming others for our miseries and problems.” I want to reach out to millions of Afghans, President Karzai included, and tell them: “We have had enough of the blaming game. Let’s not play it anymore. Let’s take responsibility for our own actions and our own faith, for our people cannot take any more pain of dirty politics and lies.
By Meena
You can help by commenting on the writings and donating money for flash drives and netbook computers. Your generosity can help open prison doors.
Posted in Afghan Women's Project, AWP 2010, education, Other, writers | Comments Off on Afghan Women Writers
Business Student Interviews
Thursday, March 18th, 2010
My head is swimming from transcribing the interviews of four students of the IEEW. (The Institute for Economic Empowerment of Women, www.ieew.org)
When I listened to Rahela describe her yard-long list of activities that she had done over the years to provide education, health and employment services for women, I was wondering what anyone in the West would have to teach her. What she (and others) appreciate about what IEEW and other business training organizations have to teach are the mechanics of organization, writing business plans, self-promotion, “wayward employee” management and things like these which aren’t part of Afghan culture.
Throughout all of the interviews I’ve done with these women and others, there is the common theme that they are who and what they are because of the support they got from their families. And they feel a need to pay it back. Farghana says that her dream for herself is to be an internationally known successful businesswoman, but also “I would be a woman who will take her family along with herself. I know my power,… but I think that my family is my backbone”.
Sometimes they had to fight for that support and prove themselves, like Miriam, a photojournalist, whose father wouldn’t let her travel to Herat with a female foreign colleague. She “worked on him” for awhile until he got used to that idea and later the idea of her living alone in another town on another assignment, then to take a photo course in India, and etc. etc. At this point, when she’s not home by 9 PM, (which is generally unacceptable for women in Afghanistan) he will call her to make sure she’s safe, but he trusts that she’s doing important work. It helps that she’s bringing in a good income.
What finally convinced him is that she told him that when she’s out photographing, interviewing and interpreting, no one sees her as a woman, that they see her as a man because of the way she acts and talks. Really, these fathers are taking a big chance in a society where even rumors of their daughter’s unacceptable behavior can land the woman and by extension their families in serious trouble, if not even prison. I’m seeing that often this “trouble” comes from conservative relatives.
And it’s not only the fathers. Those who are married, must necessarily have accepting and supportive husbands, and not always pertaining to the women bringing in an income. When Sakina and her friends organized the demonstration against the Shia Family Law (in the West more famously known as the Hazara Marital Rape Law), “my family supported me. Especially my husband, because we are like friends.”
Another benefit of that demonstration for her and her friends was the example of how powerful women working together can be. There are many cases of women doing things and creating organizations to help those less fortunate, but many who participated, felt as Sakina did, that “when we make contact with another woman and share ideas and our skills, we can improve ourselves.”
Posted in Afghan Women's Project, AWP 2010, education, women | 1 Comment »
Less than a month till I leave
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010
And when I go, I’d like to take small (4 mp+) cameras to give to RAWA to help them document human rights abuses against women. If you got a new camera over the holidays and would like to put your old one to good use, leave me a message or send an email and I’ll tell you where to send it.
Afghan women thank you.
Posted in Afghan Women's Project, AWP 2010, education, women | 1 Comment »
Rawa
Sunday, June 3rd, 2007
Rawa is Um Rami’s oldest daughter. Her older brother is 19, she is 16 and her other brothers and sisters are eight and eleven. I met her while at Zahra’s house one day when she and her mother dropped by. While Um Rami and Zahra were working out some plans, Rawa began plying me with questions about English. Her English and my Arabic were at about the same level, so we had a great time trying to understand each other and exchanging vocabulary. Read more »
Posted in education, Iraq, Iraqi Refugee Women's Project, Iraqi women | 2 Comments »